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  • in reply to: WASC Update regarding money and new owners #189866
    Willy WombatWilly Wombat
    Player

      Thought it had gone quiet. Wondering if these guys are real giving 4% for essentially an 25% financial input. Very worrying

      in reply to: The Joke Thread…… #71778
      Willy WombatWilly Wombat
      Player

        After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Australian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and
        came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

        Not to be outdone by the Aussies, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet and, shortly
        after, a story was published in the New York Times: “American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have
        concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Australians”.

        One week later, the Council in Essex , reported the following:

        “After digging as deep as 30 feet in Colchester, Jack Lucknow, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found
        absolutely stuff all. Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless.”

        in reply to: R4aL #71570
        Willy WombatWilly Wombat
        Player

          Anybody who wants to run tomorrow but hasn’t registered yet can do so on the day at Haigh Hall (starts at 11.45 so give yourselves enough time), or sponsor Jay as it is a good cause.

          [link2:1hdkb523]Run 4 a life website,http://www.run4alife.com/%5B/link2:1hdkb523%5D

          in reply to: The Joke Thread…… #68831
          Willy WombatWilly Wombat
          Player

            A woman is sitting at home on the veranda with her husband and she says, “I love you.”

            He asks, “Is that you or the wine talking?”

            She replies, “It’s me…..talking to the wine.”

            in reply to: Empty Seats to play gig at Supporters Club #64604
            Willy WombatWilly Wombat
            Player

              It is the Supporters Club Bar, for Members of the Supporters Club, those that pay £5 per season to have a place to go for a drink, munch and a nater before games. They get safe travel on coaches and they get events and entertainment like fans forums, WSAC annual dinners and bands playing in the Supporters Club Bar before and after games.

              Ever heard of it?

              in reply to: The Joke Thread…… #64504
              Willy WombatWilly Wombat
              Player

                Man is a woman’s best friend.

                He will reassure her when she feels insecure
                and comfort her after a bad day.

                He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do;

                to live without fear and forget regret.

                He will enable her to express her deepest emotions

                and give in to her most intimate desires.

                He will make sure she always feels that she’s the most beautiful
                woman in the room and will enable her to be confident,
                sexy, seductive, and invincible.

                No wait…… sorry……. I’m thinking of wine.

                It’s wine that does all that.

                Sorry.

                in reply to: The Joke Thread…… #63581
                Willy WombatWilly Wombat
                Player

                  A Scotsman,an English man,A Welsh man and an Irish man met up with a French man,an Italian, a Spaniard,a Greek, a Cypriot, a Belgian,a Bulgarian, a Swede, a Finn, an American, a Mexican, a Russian, a Czech, a Lithuanian, a Brazilian, an Aussie, an Argentinian, a New Zealander and a South African for a meal in a very posh restuarant. As they walked in they were met by the manager. He said, “Sorry,I can`t let you in without a Thai.”

                  in reply to: The Joke Thread…… #60084
                  Willy WombatWilly Wombat
                  Player

                    A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

                    The husband cringed, ‘I warned you to be careful! Now we’ll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.’

                    So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, ‘Come on in.’
                    When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.

                    A man reclining on the couch asked, ‘Are you the people that broke my window?’

                    ‘Uh…yeah! , sir. We’re sure sorry about that,’ the husband replied.

                    ‘Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.. You see, I’m a genie, and I’ve been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years.
                    Now that you’ve released me, I’m allowed to grant three wishes. I’ll give you each one wish, but if you don’t mind, I’ll keep the last one for my self.’

                    Wow, that’s great!’ the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, ‘I’d like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.’

                    ‘No problem,’ said the genie ‘You’ve got it, it’s the least I can do. And I’ll guarantee you a long, healthy life!’

                    ‘And now you, young lady, what do you want?’ the genie asked.

                    ‘I’d like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants,’ she said.

                    ‘Consider it done,’ the genie said. ‘And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!’

                    ‘And now,’ the couple asked in unison, ‘what’s your wish, genie?’

                    ‘Well, since I’ve been trapped in that bottle, and haven’t been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.’

                    The husband looked at his wife and said, ‘Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?’

                    She mulled it over for a few moments and said, ‘You know, you’re right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn’t mind, but what about you, honey?’

                    You know I love you sweetheart,’ said the husband.I’d do the same for you!’

                    So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.

                    The genie was insatiable.
                    After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?’

                    ‘Why, we’re both 35,’ she responded breathlessly

                    ‘No Kidding,’ he said.

                    ‘Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?’

                    in reply to: the never ending thread #55736
                    Willy WombatWilly Wombat
                    Player

                      in reply to: The Joke Thread…… #55733
                      Willy WombatWilly Wombat
                      Player

                        A policeman in Adelaide pulled over a driver who had been weaving in and out of the traffic.

                        He approached the car window and said “Sir I need you to blow into this breathalyzer”.

                        The man reaches into his pocket and produces a doctor’s note.

                        On it was written:
                        “This man suffers from chronic asthma.
                        Do not make him perform any action that may leave him short of breath”.

                        The policeman said “Okay then I need you to come and give a blood sample”

                        The man produced another letter.

                        This one said:
                        “This man is a haemophiliac.
                        Please do not cause him to bleed in any way”.

                        So the officer said: “Right, I need a urine sample then”.

                        The man produces a third letter from his pocket.

                        It read:
                        “This man plays Cricket for Australia ,
                        please don’t take the p*ss out of him”

                        in reply to: The Joke Thread…… #54309
                        Willy WombatWilly Wombat
                        Player

                          I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy, in Harlech.

                          There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’

                          So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.

                          I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

                          ‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it..

                          Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.

                          ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked.

                          Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head.

                          She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. ‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time..’

                          So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments.

                          She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked.

                          I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.

                          She then beat the sh*t out of me…….

                          in reply to: The Joke Thread…… #53588
                          Willy WombatWilly Wombat
                          Player

                            Three friends married women from different parts of the world…..

                            The first man married a Filipino. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.
                            It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

                            The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn’tsee any results, but the next day he saw it was better.

                            By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

                            The third man married a girl from Wigan. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything.

                            By the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.

                            He still has some difficulty when he passes water.

                            in reply to: BBC sports personality #53254
                            Willy WombatWilly Wombat
                            Player

                              Westwood, without a doubt

                              in reply to: how many of you on here has been mascot…. #53069
                              Willy WombatWilly Wombat
                              Player

                                My granddaughter was Mascot v Everton at home last season, was chuffed to bits with it and the club and players.

                                They really make the day special for them, though I didn’t rtealise there were that many of them (3,500).

                                in reply to: Table only counts in May? Technically he is correct #52842
                                Willy WombatWilly Wombat
                                Player
                                  Since he took over Wigan Athletic have become a laughing stock. Under Bruce, Huchings and Jewell we had everyone on our side (excluding the media, ‘the odds’ and the Taliban.)

                                  All I can say is …

                                  4-0 Blackpool
                                  5-0 Man U
                                  4-1 Blackpool
                                  6-0 Chelsea
                                  4-0 Arsenal
                                  9-1 Spurs
                                  4-0 Bolton
                                  8-0 Chelsea
                                  5-0 Man U
                                  2-0 Notts County
                                  1-0 Wolves
                                  3-1 West Ham
                                  3-0 Man City
                                  3-2 Birmingham

                                  And I see:

                                  2-0 Aston Villa
                                  3-1 Chelsea
                                  3-1 Burnley
                                  2-0 Wolves
                                  1-0 Liverpool
                                  3-2 Arsenal
                                  4-1 Hull City
                                  3-1 Dundee United
                                  1-0 Tottenham

                                  But hey ho

                                Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 54 total)