Catchphrase

“I’m telling you now, when I were a lad, I would never have believed that one day all this would happen. This stadium, named after me. They were hard times. Holes in my shoes. Rags for a football. Didn’t even have jumpers for goalposts. Mother would make a Pie, and that pie was mostly pastry. It was a fight to find the chunks of meat. Our house was cold, freezing. So much so, I had to p*** on my hands to keep warm. Wartime England, no father on the scene, he was away fighting the Jerry’s. I only met him one day by chance. There was a soldier on a bus, and I was admiring his kit and rifle. He introduced himself as my father. I couldn’t believe it. I was so overcome with emotion, I wet myself. Still, my legs and feet were warm. And then later, the cup final. There I was, lying on a stretcher, with a broken leg. I heard a voice of one of the bearers “Look, he’s in so much pain, he’s p**sing himself. Poor bloke”. I corrected him “No, it’s a bit chilly and I’m just warming my hands”.

“Ha ha ha, shes talking about football, how cute, Brenda go and put the kettle on love.”

Mmmm who should i sell next to pay my tax bill?

or

I wonder if Bobby will pick me, i played in a fa cup final tha knows!

Jewell: Im gunna shve this finger right up your arse if you carry on

Duke: Oh i would love to see that