Their parents must be very proud…

as Newcastle have said they’ll pay for the broken nets and stuff I have desidid too claim for the pansies. Dear Newcastle, I’ve heard that you have paid out cos your Geordies broke some nets and stuff, the week before I woke up to find that somebody had squashed my pansies, they were ruined, my wife and kids were very upset, as we were planning a trip to watch latics away in Serbia next season and now we’ll be four qiud short, it was obviously your Geordies, as the neighbours said the thugs had welsh accents. Can you please send me four qiud as soon as possible please before the pansy sale at b and q finishes otherwise you’ll have to send me six qiud. Well talk about my broken windows and car when I have finished planting my new pansies. Thank you, Sudworth.