Horc’s Christmas Games review & I was there!

Since Christmas I may need a Counsellor.

Is it just me or does anyone else have this eternal optimism about football which just over flows like the River Douglas onto the eternal pitch of life?

Life has been rumbling along like the Virgin on the west coast line, generally fine, but with a couple of own goals and a loss hard to bear, and some frustrating delays. Then you get off to a great start after a turbulent spell and by half time we are 2 – 0. The evidence is that when ever you are 2 – 0 up at half time we end up drawing 2 – 2 and it just isn’t fair. Especially as the goal against you is scored by one of your mates. But you get over it and remind yourself that ‘things could be worse’, and 1 point is better than none. Such is the delayed pendalino of life.

Sometimes in life what used to come normally and naturally like that last smooch of the night with the one next to you, just disappears, and I have to head off to the library at 2.45 every Saturday just to find out what the definition of ‘GOAL’ is. Oh, for a snog!!

Like the ‘Grand National’ at Blackpool pleasure beach life has its up and downs. Sometimes those downs just seem to be a never-ending plummet to the bottom of any league, despite 3 months earlier everything being great, we are successful, friends are pleasant, work is good – in fact what can go wrong; and Wigan are early outside favourites to be in the play offs. Then I decide to chop some wood, nearly chop my thumb off and Dan Burn and Jacobs get injured. Why are we so optimistic?

Christmas comes; a time of cheer and jollity for us and a time of carnage for the animals. With all the assuredness of Shaun Maloney’s corner I am darned sure we’ll get some points. But it’s a time of carnage for Wigan as well. Birmingham City happens, sadly, and like having a family of 6 but with no connections, the only 2 who can get anywhere near a mention of MoM are Cedric and James. The team looks estranged!

The local amateur dramatics put on the panto, which we are all expected to go to. It’s shocking; they’ve forgotten their lines. They don’t know where the entrances and exits are. But fortunately, someone has brought mulled wine, smuggled in of course. It turns out to be the highlight of the game; half tiem was more memorable than ….. which game was it?

Then widow twanky trips over her own skirt and instead of marking his man, he keeps an eye the ball, Twanky trips over, the guy you’re meant to be marking is gone and heh presto GOAL. FFS.

But it’s odd. The last time we came to the panto, it was excellent. Against Blackburn Callum scored, Windass was emulating his dad, and Old man Roberts controlled everything in a fatherly way. We used to alright and now we are shite; or is everyone just better than us?

Do I need counselling after this foray into Christmas doldrums? Is there summut up with me? It seems as if even prescription drugs and two-halves of beer doesn’t guide me to the trade winds of success; sometimes I just don’t think that the world of football is a sleepy dream. But anyway ………..

………..I enjoyed the trip out to West Brom. I had fun. Some dubious refs decisions, not least their goal and our 2 non penalties, but life is harsh. We even had some surprising attacks, some near goals And life was good. Then there were lotsa corners we made nothing off. Some Boycee-esque goal line saves. A shot towards the goal. A figueroa back pass. Then McDonald came on, partnered with James and we looked almost as if …… well, anything could happen and before that it looked almost as if nowt may happen. Like life … there is hope!! Added to that I met up with some good Wigan fans, I heard some passionate support and was able to get away with talking almost rubbish for most of the game. That was a nice change.

Do we need more players? When does the panto finish? Is life’s script written? Well, it is certainly on the script that we need a striker like the

NO don’t need therapy … this is my therapy. Roll on AVFC!! A removal from the real world, again!!

I feel like suggesting that at my funeral, which may not be too far away, I want Arthur Brown to sing ‘FIRE’ And who was it on either BoBD or Cl that had the nerve to ask where the white jacket was? However, someone DID say my match reviews make more sense than someone else’s comments!!