WE’RE ALL DOOMED! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE! WHELAN IS A SKINFLINT (UNLESS WE WIN ON SUNDAY IN WHICH CASE HAVE A KNIGHTHOOD SIR DAVE) AND THAT DAFT SPICK IS A PUB MANAGER (AGAIN UNLESS WE WIN AT GOODISON IN WHICH CASE WE’RE ALL GOING ON A EUROPEAN TOUR)
I MIGHT BE SAT HERE ON THE COUCH WITH MY KENCH HANGING OUT LETTING OFF FOUL STENCHING FARTS WEARING YELLOW STAINED Y-FRONTS WATCHING DEAL OR NO DEAL AND EATING CHEESEY DORITOS WHILE TAPPING AWAY ON MY BIG KEYS LAPTOP BUT LET ME TELL YOU I KNOW MY FOOTBALL, I’VE PLAYED FOR BACUP BOROUGH AND HAD TRIALS FOR OLDHAM AND IF IT WASN’T FOR MY CLEFT PALATE THEY’D HAVE SIGNED ME UP I’VE NEVER BEEN AS ASHAMED IN MY LIFE AS I WAS LAST NIGHT. WHEN I LOOKED AT THE SCORE ON TELETEXT, I NEARLY THROUGH THE REMOTE IN THE FISH TANK
AND YOU’D BETTER RESPECT MY OPINIONS because I TALK IN CAPITALS all the time DONT PUNCTUATE MY SENTENCES PROPERLY AND WAS THERE IN 1994 WHEN THERE WERE 1400 ON AND HAVE BEEN A SEASON TICKET HOLDER SINCE 1845 and have NEVER EVER MISSED A GAME EVER
EVER
EVER
YOU ARE ALL JCL’S ON HERE
BOW TO MY SUPERIOR KNOWLEDGE, YOU JCL SET OF BASTURDS, WHELAN IS THE ANTICHRIST AND I’M OFF TO END IT ALL