SW’s Football Willy Waving Thread

[StandishWalker]

While we’ve recently been on the subject of European football: as my job has taken me to a variety of European matches over the years, I recently started logging all the games I’d been to and made note of three things I remember from each destination/game/trip because eventually they’ll all just blur into one.

So yes, it’s a bit of a willy waving thread, but as I’ve been to far less domestic grounds than a lot of people who frequent this board, I thought I’d show you mine, if you show me yours.

Here’s mine:

Austria: Grazer AK v Middlesbrough
Good beer. Learnt that Arnold Schwarzeneggar never played for Graz. Kris Kamara asleep in a bar.

Austria – Vienna, Austria v England
Friendly locals. Piss poor game. Looked for Midge Ure – didn’t see him.

Azerbaijan -Baku, Azerbaijan v England
Stadium with no cover – got piss-wet through. City smells of burning oil. Ladas everywhere.

Croatia – Hajduk Split v Stoke
32 degrees & wearing a suit. Hajduk fans were big and nasty. Nick Hancock is a pisshead.

Czech Republic – Banik Ostrava v Middlesbrough
‘Prague Lite’. Good, cheap beer. Menacing looking riot police and confused looking Boro fans.

Denmark – Copenhagen, Denmark v England
Disappointed with the lack of good looking Danish women. Good but expensive beer. Nice stadium.

Denmark – Copenhagen v Manchester United
More Utd fans live in Copenhagen than Copenhagen fans. Danes are all deranged. Still expensive.

France – Marseille v Liverpool
Great bars near the port. Absolutely freezing. Left the game at half time.

France -Lyon v Rangers
Crap stadium. Lost a fortune in casino. Great result for Rangers.

Germany – Stuttgart v Rangers
Decent bars. Mercedes-Benz Museum – an essential visit. Decent stadium.

Germany – Werder Bremen v Rangers
Impressive stadium. Really good bars with a great selection of beers. Lived off chili wurst.

Germany – Berlin, Germany v England
It all kicked off before the game. Olympic stadium or not, it’s a bit shit. Airport was a shambles.

Germany – Wolfsburg v Portsmouth
Freezing. Wolfsburg is a VW factory and fook all else. Pompey team aircraft broke down after game.

Germany – Hamburg for Europa League Final
Impressive stadium. Shocking organisation by police. Worst organised airport I’ve been through.

Greece – Panathinaikos v Rangers
Played at old stadium. ‘Cyprus is in Turkey’ song didn’t go down well. Great bars and restaurants.

Hungary – Debrecen v Manchester United
Intimidating. Heavy police presence. ‘Fluid’ drinks prices (ie. differing in the same bar, sporadically)

Israel – Hapoel Tel Aviv v Rangers
Muted atmosphere. Don’t trust anyone wearing a backpack. Aircraft flown by Bruce Dickson.

Italy – Fiorentina v Rangers
Stadium needs serious modernisation. Away end is 50m from pitch. Brilliant result for Rangers.

Italy – Fiorentina v Everton
Good lunch at Buca San Giovanni. Everton fans sneaked 2 in per ticket. Many pissed off Scousers.

Italy – Rome for Champions League Final
Alcohol ban throughout the city on day of game. Had man-flu. Airport was a shambles.

Italy – Roma v Manchester United
MU fans ambushed en route to stadium. Fighting on terraces. Poor organisation on coach parks.

Italy – AC Milan v Manchester United
Great city, but bloody expensive. Fighting on terraces. Well organised at the airport.

Kazakhstan – Almaty, Kazakhstan v England
Stupidly long flight. Dullest place I’ve ever been to. Crap stadium.

Macedonia – Skopje, Macedonia v England
Police very intimidating . Cheap beer. Biggest array of moustaches I’ve ever seen.

Montenegro – FK Zeta v Rangers
Fantastic looking women. Tiny stadium – Ryman League standard. Drivers are all maniacs.

Netherlands – AZ Alkmaar v Everton
Never been as cold in all my life. Had a few pints with Ian Snodin. Bit of a non-event of a game.

Netherlands – Eindhoven for UEFA Cup Final
Had to stay in Centre Parcs. Kris Kamara was leathered. PSV fans turned up for a fight.

Netherlands – Amsterdam, Holland v England
Felt like it was going to kick off in the city centre. Police everywhere. Expensive beer.

Norway – Molde v Rangers
One horse/reindeer town. Stadium next to a fjord. Stupidly expensive for everything.

Norway – Brann v Everton
Expensive beer. Expensive food. Dull as (probably overpriced) dishwater

Poland – Katowice, Poland v England
Neo Nazis. Robocop riot police. Water-cannon fixed to an army tank aimed at Neo Nazis.

Poland – Legia Warsaw v Arsenal
Pointless match. Poles couldn’t organise a piss-up in a ‘browar’. Arsenal coaches got bricked.

Poland – Poznan for Euro 2012
Great city with great bars. Overrun with Irish fans. Poznan fans fighting with Croats.

Portugal – Benfica v Manchester United
Brilliant city. Discovered Super Bock. Don’t offer to buy a lap dancer a drink unless you are loaded.

Portugal – Sporting v Rangers
Traffic is shocking. Good food. Stadium is decent – and sells really nice Piri Piri chicken.

Portugal – Porto v Rangers
Lovely city – especially down by the river. Really nice restaurants. Good stadium.

Portugal – Braga v Portsmouth
Bizarre stadium. Cheap Super Bock at the stadium. Harry Redknapp’s last game.

Portugal – Braga v Arsenal
Yes, stadium is still bizarre. Stadium lifts broke. General strike – had to fly in and out of Vigo, Spain.

Portugal – Vitoria Guimaeres v Portsmouth
Compact new stadium on a roundabout – bit like Horwich. Nicer than Horwich. Fans are nicer too.

Russia – Champions League Final, Moscow
Most expensive place I’ve visited. Horrendous traffic. Every 2nd man looks like Andrey Arshavin.

Serbia – Red Star Belgrade v Rangers
Fans are psychopaths. Monkey chants. Got hit by a coin thrown at players.

Serbia – Partizan Belgrade v Arsenal
Floodlights failed. ‘Bribed’ some policeman with pin-badges. Fans, like Red Star, are psychopaths.

Slovakia – Art Media v Rangers
Even airport staff looked like they wanted a fight. Over-policing. Intimidating atmosphere at stadium

Spain – Barcelona v Rangers
City awash with Rangers fans, spilt beer and piss. Stadium needs modernising. Traffic jams galore.

Spain – Barcelona v Arsenal
Found an Irish bar owned by a Wigan fan. Footballing lesson for Arsenal. Airport well organised.

Spain – Villarreal v Rangers
Decent stadium. Locals quite welcoming. Numerous drunk Rangers fans missed flights home.

Spain – Osasuna v Rangers
Nice little city. Bad atmosphere day of match. Rangers fans baton charged by the police.

Spain – Madrid, Spain v England
Huge police presence, but friendly enough. Brilliant city. Poor result, as expected.

Ukraine – Shakhtar Donetsk v Arsenal
Full of corruption. Amazing stadium. Accused of stealing curtains from my hotel room.

[Chris Griffin]

France – Marseille v Liverpool
Great bars near the port. Absolutely freezing. Left the game at half time.

Spooky. You must have been in O’Malley’s and/or The Shamrock on the Vieux Port. I was in both every night that week.

It must be your round.

[StandishWalker]

France – Marseille v Liverpool
Great bars near the port. Absolutely freezing. Left the game at half time.

Spooky. You must have been in O’Malley’s and/or The Shamrock on the Vieux Port. I was in both every night that week.

It must be your round.[/quote]
I remember going into an Irish bar, but no idea what it was called. (I didn’t stay long because they starting singing Fields Of Anfield Road)

[Neil Ferguson]

Can I be cheeky as ask what you do for a living if your job takes you to so many exotic places? :)

[filmoss]

Can I be cheeky as ask what you do for a living if your job takes you to so many exotic places? :)

He is the Prime Minister’s aide ( Think Little Britain ! ) :cheer:

[Neil Ferguson]

Can I be cheeky as ask what you do for a living if your job takes you to so many exotic places? :)

He is the Prime Minister’s aide ( Think Little Britain ! ) :cheer:[/quote]

Never seen an episode of Little Britain mate. :huh:

[Yosser_Hughes]

Denmark – Copenhagen, Denmark v England
Disappointed with the lack of good looking Danish women. expensive beer. Nice stadium.

I will second that. Ive been to the Tuborg(carlsberg) factory in Copenhagen and it was the nicest and most crisp lager i have ever tasted.

[StandishWalker]

Can I be cheeky as ask what you do for a living if your job takes you to so many exotic places? :)

Not cheeky at all mate.

I used to charter aircraft and contract the hotels for football teams.

And, I’d hardly call Kazakhstan exotic!

[Neil Ferguson]

Can I be cheeky as ask what you do for a living if your job takes you to so many exotic places? :)

Not cheeky at all mate.

I used to charter aircraft and contract the hotels for football teams.

And, I’d hardly call Kazakhstan exotic![/quote]

How on earth did you get into that line of work then?

[StandishWalker]

Can I be cheeky as ask what you do for a living if your job takes you to so many exotic places? :)

Not cheeky at all mate.

I used to charter aircraft and contract the hotels for football teams.

And, I’d hardly call Kazakhstan exotic![/quote]

How on earth did you get into that line of work then?[/quote]
Complete luck! I worked for a travel company and got chatting to someone who worked with Man U and talked my way into a job.

[Anonymous]

All these questions and not one person has asked the most intriguing one,

Did you nick the curtains?

[Author]

Posts