5-4-Friday… 5 OTT Celebrations

In my pre-marriage & kids days, I used to hate St Patrick’s Day falling on a Friday or Saturday night when i was out with my mates. Quite aside from the afore mentioned idiots in stupid hats all pretending that they’re Irish, it takes an ice age to get served at the bar coz they’re all supping Guinness & it takes about 4 times as long to pour as an ordinary beer.

Guy Fawkes night used to be $h!t hot in my school going years (up to 1991). Every group of mates with their own bonfire, nicking stuff from other people’s, then a few joining together & making the mother of all bonny’s & your own firework display of which about 50% were duds. The fire brigade were never big fans of it for some reason, then around the early 90’s people started to moan about the environment & it was finally killed off by Health & Safety and insurance companies refusing to ensure some of the big uns you used to get at rugby clubs & such like. A great British tradition killed & relegated to firework displays which coz you don’t burn a Guy on top of a great big fire, no kids ask what its all about

Halloween was nowt when I was a kid. Trick or treating was forbidden from my parents (& those of all my mates) coz it was “begging”. A few used to do it but not many & the tricks normally involved some mid-teens lobbing a couple of bangers at some old bloked house who’d come out effin & jeffin at em. There was certainly nowt in the shops about it. I blame satellite/cable TV & the availability of all the US kids channels where it’s shown as a massive thing.

As for mother’s & father’s day – a couple of years ago I saw posters advertising “Grandparents Day” cards & presents in Clinton’s & St Helens a couple of years ago. Thankfully now I’m a father that one seems to have died a death

Oh & being an atheist, Crimbo disappeared as a celebration for me when I moved out of my folk’s place. No decorations, trees or nowt in my flat. That’s proving harder to get rid of & winds my catholic wife up no end when I fail to get all giddy about “putting up the tree” & planning to spend a small fortune on presents for all & sundry. The missus doesn’t take to kindly to me mentioning that all the Xmas stuff she insists we fork out for like the tree, decorations, mistletoe etc.. & even freakin Father Xmas are all Pagan symbols & really should have no place in a Christian celebration. It grates that I get dragged out of bed on the day itself to spend an hour in some cold church somewhere from 9am coz she wants to have a family tradition, but at least that has some relevance to the holiday itself. For me however it just represents 2 free weeks off work every year & having to buy new keks for the sudden expanding of my waistline

Grandparents Day. What a sham.

I adored my Gran when she was alive and on the ‘first’ Grandparents Day I told her I wasn’t buying her a card etc etc to which she replied ‘Good. I’d give you a slap if you did’.

As for cards from and even too the f*cking pets!!!!!!!!! The dog doesn’t know it’s Christmas, doesn’t care it’s Christmas and even if it did it can’t read!!!!!!!!!

Cats *are* pretentious, though, aren’t they, it’s the nature of being a cat…

:ohmy: