Latics an Analogy

apparantly they where asylum seeking penguins on route to pastures new unill the tragedy happend.

If your going with the conspiracy theories Edinburgh that Titanic was an insurance job shoudlnt you give her real name marrer? Olympic had already broken her back near Southampton and would never get a seaworthy licence. Theory is she was taken back to Belfast and they swapped identity plates etc with Titanic which would then sail and be scuppered Mid-Atlantic thus becoming an Insurance job. It is stated that the SS California which set sail just before Titanic and was alledgedly carrying only blankets and sheets as cargo would pick up all on board. Trouble is the daft gets went and hit a bloody iceberg and bo..oxed up the plan :D :D :D

Technically, she only had 2. Bob has far more.

sorry to be picky but the titanic sank about 41.75 degrees north,which is approx 10 degrees south of the british mainland and a degree is about 69.4 miles so that is close on 700 miles-and some 1700 miles south of the “Artic Circle”

but all that is chicken feed compared to how far away martinez is from getting wigan athletic fired up for a game.

Frank is driving a truck load of penguins across Europe to Chester zoo. Near Birmingham, his truck breaks down. Frank inspects the damage, sees his truck will need to be towed to a garage and so tries to flag down another truck for help.

Finally, David pulls over and asks Frank, “what’s the matter?”

Frank says, “My truck has broken down and it is full of penguins that need to be taken to the zoo today! Are you carrying anything?”

David says no.

Frank continues. “Great! I’ll give you 500 quid if you take these penguins to the zoo for me.”

David says, “sure.” So they load the penguins into David’s truck and David drives away towards Chester. Meanwhile, Frank calls a garage to come fix his truck.

The next day, Frank finally arrives in Chester. Imagine his surprise, then, when he sees David walking down the street with all the penguins; hand-in-wing, wing-in-wing.

“What the hell are you doing with the penguins!?” shouts Frank, “I told you to take them to the zoo yesterday!”

“I did,” said David calmly, “but I had some money left over. So I’m taking them to see a movie today.

Me or the joke, Don?? ;)

A penguin waddles to the shoe shop and asks the shop keeper “Have you got lemons?” The shoe keeper says “Can’t you see this is a shoe shop! We don’t sell any lemons!” The penguin just waddles off.

The next day the same penguin ask the same shop keeper the same question and the shop keeper says “Didn’t I told you this is a shoe shop not a greengrocer, we sell shoes not lemons…grrr!” So again the penguin just waddles off.

The next day, the same penguin asks the shop keeper “Have you got any lemons?” The shoe keeper screams at the penguin “I told you I don’t have any lemons, I don’t sell lemons and I don’t even like lemons…I sell shoes! Now, if you ever come back to my shop AGAIN I will nail your flippers to the floor!” The penguin just waddles away into the distance.

The following day, the penguin again goes into the same shop and asks “Have you got any nails?” The shop keeper says “NO!” The penguin says “Have you got any lemons then?”