Why don’t We Sing …

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      Now there’s a place in Wigan a place you all should know
      A busy little factory where things are all the go
      They don’t make Jakes or Eccles Cakes or things to stick on walls
      But night and day they work away at Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls

      Chorus (to be sung after each verse)

      Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls keep you all aglow
      Give ‘em to your grannie and watch the beggar go
      Away with coughs and sniffles, take a few in hand
      Suck ‘em and see, you’ll agree
      They’re the best in all the land

      Me dad has always wanted curly hair on his bald head
      Suck an Uncle Joe’s Mint Ball that’s what the doctor said
      So he got an Uncle Joe’s Mint Ball and sucked it all night long
      When he got up next morning, he’d hairs all over his tongue

      Me uncle Albert passed away from ale upon the brain
      The doctors said that he were dead and would never walk again
      So they gave the corpse an Uncle Joe’s and then stood back aghast
      Cos the corpse jumped up and ran to the pub and spent the insurance brass

      Me granny said me granddad ‘e were gettin’ old and slow
      And fire in grandad’s boiler ‘ad gone out long ago
      So ‘e got an Uncle Joe’s Mint Ball, sucked it all the night
      But his hot breath singed her vest and set the bed alight

      We ‘ad a pigeon it were bald and couldn’t fly too fast
      Never won places in the races, always come in last
      Though it were bald, no feathers at all it won a race one day
      We give it an Uncle Joe’s Mint Ball and it ran al’t bloody way

      I had a girl her name was May in passion she were lackin’
      Fed ‘er with whisky to make ‘er frisky, still she wouldn’t get crackin’
      So I gave her an Uncle Joe’s Mint Ball to get ‘er all aglow
      Now she combs the streets of Wigan, looking for Uncle Joe!

      We gave some to the coalman’s ‘orse as it stood in the road
      It gave a cough then beggared off with it’s cart an’ load
      It ran onto the racecourse going like a bird
      Covered the track with nutty slack and came first, second and third

      The RSPCA have bought six tons of Uncle Joe’s
      To give to all the animules to keep ‘em all aglow
      Our budgie now is six foot tall, the cat is eight foot three
      And all the poor brass monkeys are as happy as can be


        thats one of the KLUMPS songs, thi daft buggar


        Better start dishing them out to the players then!

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      Forums Latics Crazy Forum Why don’t We Sing …