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My son was sent home from school today for asking a girl in his class for a blowjob. That’s the third school this year. This teaching lark is definitely not for him.
A young man moved from his parents home into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, “Let’s go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.”He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now completely nude, she purred at him,
“What would you say is my best feature?” Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, “It’s got to be your ears.”Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, “My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin – no blemishes anywhere, so how can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?!”
Clearing his throat, he stammered, “Outside, when you said you heard someone coming, that was me…”Just seen the plans for Thatchers grave and I must admit it looks lovely.
Personally though I would have made the dance floor a bit bigger.
Why do women get married in white?
To get used to blending in with the rest of the kitchen appliances.
Three drunks are arguing about some tracks they’d found.
First drunk says, “They are deer tracks “.
Second one says, “No, they are badger tracks”.
Third one says, “You’re both wrong, they are fox tracks”.Just at that moment they were hit by a train….!
Got the Missus a Man Utd bra for her birthday.She hates it-Says the support is crap and it wont be long till the tits are out of both cups.
Scotland yard are having a crackdown on viagra smugglers. Police are reported to be looking for 20’hardened criminals.
The trial started today of Oscar Pistorius. Some are saying it could go on for weeks but I personal don’t think it will have the legs
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