The Joke Thread……

Forums Non Football Stuff The Joke Thread……

Viewing 15 posts - 286 through 300 (of 345 total)
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  • #102957
    griffChris Griffin
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    If only we had a non-football forum with a dedicated joke thread…

    #102992
    JaytJayt
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    Like this you mean??

    This thread is a best man’s dream…

    FA Cup Winners 2013, sounds good that

    #102994
    StandishWalkerStandishWalker
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    Like this you mean??

    This thread is a best man’s dream…

    Depends what the chief bridesmaid looks like. Gutted, it’s the Mrs.

    #103381
    The EggThe Egg
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    Roses are red
    Violets are glorious
    Don’t try to surprise
    Oscar Pistorius

    #103421
    NuneatonlaticNuneatonlatic
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    Oscar Pistorius vigarously denies murdering his beautiful girlfriend but to be honest he has,nt got a leg to stand on ;)

    #103445
    garswood_laticGarswood_latic
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    Oscar Pistorius vigarously denies murdering his beautiful girlfriend but to be honest he has,nt got a leg to stand on ;)

    Apparently he picked up the gun so it’s got his prints on it. Shot himself in the foot there.

    #103448
    NuneatonlaticNuneatonlatic
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    Oscar Pistorius vigarously denies murdering his beautiful girlfriend but to be honest he has,nt got a leg to stand on ;)

    Apparently he picked up the gun so it’s got his prints on it. Shot himself in the foot there.[/quote]

    When the gun went off he sprinted down the the road in a new world record time :P

    #103450
    garswood_laticGarswood_latic
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    I see what Pistorius is doing. He is going to jail for 25 years and when he gets released… Bam! President of South Africa. That’s how it works over there, right?

    #103458
    NuneatonlaticNuneatonlatic
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    Oscar Pistorius has been remanded in custody for the murder of his girlfriend.When the custody sergeant asked him for his boot laces Pistorius replied “are you taking the piss?”

    #103459
    The EggThe Egg
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    I feel sorry for the guy. He can’t be the first man to be legless and shoot his girlfriend in the face whilst thinking she was someone else.

    #103462
    NuneatonlaticNuneatonlatic
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    Well as I understand it Pistorius,s everyday false limbs are the latest breakthrough is aesthetic bodyparts made out of wood and the reason he killed her was that she refused to let him get the log-over :whistle:

    #103498
    NuneatonlaticNuneatonlatic
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    Im sick of leaving my clothes behind when im working away from home.Recently i have left my Wranglers in a hotel in Blackpool my Levi,s in a motel in Bristol and my Lee Coopers in a guesthouse in Yarmouth.Luckily I have had them all returned thanks to the intenet so thank you Genes Reunited :whistle: :whistle:

    #104695
    banjostringVP
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    ‘Go and have a look at the size of the shit I’ve just done in the bathroom!’, I said to my girlfriend.

    ‘Er, no thanks,’ she replied.

    ‘Please, just one quick look,’ I said, ‘You won’t believe it, it’s a good two pounder.’

    Shaking her head in disbelief, she pinched her nose, ran in, looked down the toilet, then ran out and said, ‘There’s nothing down there, you must’ve flushed it.’

    ‘No’, I said, ‘It’s on the scales.’

    #104894
    NuneatonlaticNuneatonlatic
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    My wife cuddled up to me the other day and lovingly asked

    “Darling,if you won the lottery would you still love me “?

    To which I replied

    “I would miss you”

    #105646
    banjostringVP
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    A man goes to the doctor and says ‘Doctor, I want to be castrated’. The doctor is flabbergasted and asks why on earth he would want to be castrated. The man is insistent and says he’s made up his mind and wants to go ahead with the procedure.

    The doctor reluctantly grants the man his wish and the man is sent for the operation. About a week after, he’s released from hospital and he’s in agony. He’s walking down the road with a dressing gown on, walking very gingerly pushing a frame with a drip attached and he sees another man walking towards him doing exactly the same.

    When they finally meet, he says to the other man ‘Looks like you’ve had the same operation as me’. The other man says ‘What, circumcised?’ ‘Shit,’ the man says ‘that’s the word I was looking for’.

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Forums Non Football Stuff The Joke Thread……