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A drunk who smelled of alcohol sat down on a subway next to a priest.
The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, “Say Father, what causes arthritis?”
The priest replies, “My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.”
The drunk muttered in response, “Well, I’ll be damned, ” Then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?”
The drunk answered, “I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.”
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,
‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair,Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, ‘No not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.’
A precious little girl walks into a PetSmart store and asks,
in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth,
“Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?”As the shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he’s on her level and asks, “Do you want a widdle white wabbit,or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?”
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,
“I don’t think my python weally gives a thit.”
Personally I use the goals against as a good indicator of true positions, its rarely wrong.Wasn’t last season ;)
It isn’t rocket science, we beat Spurs and Wolves, therfore we are better than them.
what a complete numpty.
Based on that theory Northampton are better than Liverpool, Leeds are better than Man United, Hercules are better than Barca and Notts County are better than us.[/quote]
I think that is the whole point!!! read it all :roll:willie old son – i assume you are a wombat because they have a sleepy/dozy reputation.have a lie down, a nice cup of camomile tea to calm you down,then read again what i have written,so you then may understand it and come back with a meaningful response.
I have read it a few times now, had an Earl Grey and I will still ask the same question. Which Clubs would Futures Dealers touch anyway.
You used a bad analogy to try and be clever, you are again slagging down Wigan Athletic and Roberto Martinez (this time without really thinking it through) and I would at least like you to do things comparably.
Edit: as griff just pointed out, at this time we are showing the form that would historically keep us up, albeit just. If you put an iota of the effort into getting behind the Club as you do putting it down, you might just reduce those stress levels a bit.
1992 was clearly relegation form.
Last season (and so far this) was manifestly not.
We can all manipulate and interpret data.
Lies, damn lies, etc…?
as you know griff data and interpretating it is all about probability and forcasting – not manipulating it,
surely that is what any good sales/purchasing executive, which i assume you have daily dealings with, does best.if you look at the data and probability outlook – wafc and martinez wont have many futures dealers flocking to get a piece of the action.[/quote]
How many in the Premier League would?
West Cheats
Rovers
Blackpool
Fulham
Notlob
do I have to go on?I smile when I see the “The system doesn’t work”, “it is boring” and “there is too much passing and sideways movement”, it doesn’t work does it, ask:
Arsenal
Chelsea
Manchester United
Real Madrid
Barcelona
The list would go on……The system DOES work, Roberto just has a link or two missing that when found will turn things around. People have to be blind to not see that.
I do come from the camp that I think it might be too late by the time he does find it, I just hope it is sooner rather than later.
Fact is, the footballing teams do better than just survive when they get it right, how many hoof ball teams will there be in the European places cone the end of this season?
Great day out, always is when you follow yur team.
I’ll be there whatever the results, whoever owns or runs the team/club.
David Fairclough, European Cup winner. Didn’t play many games for us though.
Possibly should have gone for John Filan, hey ho
I’d take the M6 then M1 then follow th signs to the car parks. Actually I would probably go and stay with with friends down there so I could have a drink.
Cleverly needs a run in the team for me.And by all accounts we’ll haev him for about another ten weeks….