- This topic has 344 replies, 69 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 8 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
the jimmy saville scandal is of no surprise to many at the bbc. during the 70’s it was rife, rod hull was often seen fisting a bird ……….
Dear Jim, please could you “Fix It” for the girl in my class who I really fancy to come on holiday with me?
Yours sincerely,
Jeremy Forrest, aged 30
I looked into my new girlfriend’s eyes and said, “I would like to make love to your soul.”
“Awww, any time baby, that is so romantic.” she smiled.
“Great..” I replied. “I think I’ll start with your r-soul.”
————————————————————————
I just bought Condoms, and when the cashier asked do you need a bag? I just said No she isn’t that ugly.
————————————————————————
A bloke takes his mates to see his new flat, after a few beers, one of the lads asks him: “What’s the big brass gong for?”
The host says: “It’s my speaking clock!”
“How does it work?”
“I’ll show you,” he says, and hits it full pelt with a club hammer.
A voice from next door yells: “For f***s sake you c***, it’s twenty to three in the f***ing morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
————————————————————————
(classic alert!)
Before me and the missus had sex she said, “If you turn off the light, you can shove it up my arse.”
With hindsight, I probably should have waited until the bulb had cooled down.iam growing a moustache for movember this year, it will go well with the curly sideburns i grew for jewn.
i was awoke last night to find the ghost of gloria gaynor stood at the foot of my bed, at first i was afraid, i was petrified
some of therse are good not too sure of the rude ones as my kids look in here now and again cant stop it though so ill keep them off if i can had to laught though thats why they looked in lol
Congratulations Landgate, this is officially the most viewed thread on the new Cockney Latic message board. I’m not bitter at all that you have taken the crown away from me :P
As it’s the joke thread:
Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he had his d*ck stuck up a chicken.
Are you having that one Sudders? Good old family humour.
some of therse are good not too sure of the rude ones as my kids look in here now and again cant stop it though so ill keep them off if i can had to laught though thats why they looked in lolI’m sure they are more busy cracking one off to redtube than seeing you make a plonker of yourself on here lad.
iam growing a moustache for movember this year, it will go well with the curly sideburns i grew for jewn.I hope my Mrs doesn’t do Fanuary ! :)
Paddy marrooned on desert island finds the usual bottle in the sand picks it up and takes the top off.
WHOOSH, Genie escapes and happily turns to our Irish hero and utters the normal “I will grant you 3 wishes” gumpf.
Paddy doesnt need to think about it and promptly retorts “Oil av a Guinness”
Genie duly obliges and adds “now listen ere Mick this is no ordinary pint of Guinness drink it back in one go”
Paddy hastily quaffs his drink then stands back in amazment as his glass immediately refills.
“Its a never ending pint” the genie tells him “it will never ever empty. Now you still have a couple of wishes left”.
Paddy once again straight in “Anudder 2 of these please”. ;)
My wife and kids are leaving me :( because of my obsession with horse racing. They’re at the gate now and they’re OFF :silly:
My wife and kids are leaving me :( because of my obsession with horse racing. They’re at the gate now and they’re OFF :silly:I think this thread may soon be moved from the football related section, but…
People think I’m obsessed with Peter Cetera, but how can I be when we have nothing in common? He’s an 80s pop star who used to sing with Chicago and I’m just a knight in shining armour from a long time ago.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
