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A mushroom went to the bar and asked for a drink.
The bar man snapped back ‘we do’t serve your kind here’
The mushroom was amazed and said ‘Why not? I’m a fungai’
Your Dad logged in on your username again Jay?
Boy asks his Gran nervously,
“Have you seen my pills … they were labeled LSD?
“Gran replies,
“F.ck your pills! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen!”I feel guilty crushing up pills to put in my nans food, but id never forgive myself if i got her pregnant
I feel guilty crushing up pills to put in my nans food, but id never forgive myself if i got her pregnantWhy would you take something directly from Jimmy Carr’s mouth. The one which he does in every live show he’s done more or less? ;)
i got it in a txt actually…. didnt know jimmy carr used it.. and even if he did why would i not be allowed to write it on this forum? why are you following me around like a bad smell lol i better not call you any nasty words as you might report me again
anyway back on subject!!!
Why Fishing is Better Than Sex
When you go fishing and you catch something, that’s good. If you’re making love and you catch something, that’s bad.
Fish don’t compare you to other fishermen neither and don’t want to know how many other fish you caught.
In fishing you lie about the one that got away. In loving you lie about the one you caught.
You can catch and release a fish, you don’t have to lie and promise to still be friends after you let it go.
You don’t have to necessarily change your line to keep catching fish.
You can catch a fish on a 20-cent night crawler. If you want to catch a woman you’re talking dinner and a movie minimum.
Fish don’t mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.
Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: “Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat.”
Vet: “Is it a tom?”
Yorkshireman: “Nay, I’ve browt it with us.”A Yorkshireman’s dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: “Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?”
Jeweller: “Do you want it 18 carat?”
Yorkshireman: “No I want it chewin’ a bone yer daft bugger!”Q: What do Theo Walcott and Mr T have in common?
A: They’re both black and “ain’t getting’ on no plane!!”Q: What do Theo Walcott and Mr T have in common?
A: They’re both black and “ain’t getting’ on no plane!!”Just added the word ‘Black’ into the already much used and heard joke… Love it :lol:
Q: What do Theo Walcott and Mr T have in common?
A: They’re both black and “ain’t getting’ on no plane!!”Just added the word ‘Black’ into the already much used and heard joke… Love it :lol: [/quote]
:? In your version, what else did they have in common?
Q: What do Theo Walcott and Mr T have in common?
A: They’re both black and “ain’t getting’ on no plane!!”Just added the word ‘Black’ into the already much used and heard joke… Love it :lol: [/quote]
:? In your version, what else did they have in common?[/quote]
Nothing :s …They both just ‘Werent getting on no plane’ :)
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